Revenge is what drives me
by Green Hat
Summary: I've never seen the sky before... that's not because I've spent my life in a cage... well... maybe it is...


Disclaimer: Iown little, sometimesI wonder ifI own my own thoughts. I too it seems am a puppet.

**Revenge is what drives me**

I've never seen the sky before. Its not because I've spent my life in a cage… well, maybe it is… I've spent my life, serving, being the scientists' puppet. I'm tired, I'm sick of being their servant. I will not do it anymore. I am no-one's property. I am no-one's slave. The sky is beautiful; the clouds like a grey blanket, painted red to what I know from my _education_ must be west. It's enchanting… but I miss the stars.

It's a long way down. There is water under the bridge. Can I swim? I don't remember. I don't remember much. The air is cold; the wind is not something I anticipated. Its force is something I could never bring myself to adequately imagine. The sky has cleared. I can see the stars again… but from here they don't seem the same. I remember being surrounded by them, safe, cool and quiet in their embrace. Here I am encircled by smoke and noise… endless sirens that prickle the fur on my neck. I hate the sounds of those alarms. Here instead of the tranquil light of eternal suns I face the harsh neon glow of electric lights. Like in the laboratories… the glaring lights… the endless tests, the noise of machines…

What would happen if I jumped? Gravity is not a concept I am used to… At least not as a permanent unchangeable thing. The scientists used to be able to bend even that unconquerable force to their will, as easily as they crushed my spirit. I would fall, that is certain, but what then? Would that fall kill me? Somehow I doubt it. So what would they do? Would I in my broken body simply be at the mercy of those who pursue me? I will not be their slave… I'm sick of serving…

Look at me! I'm pathetic; here I am, holding this stolen _treasure_ in my fist. I don't want it, I certainly don't need it. So why do I have it? Because I was ordered to steal it. That is why. I am even more pathetic than the humans. No-matter. This man I serve seems to want the same as I do… Revenge is what drives me. That is what I want now, all I want. My life, my existence is meaningless, revenge is everything. I will avenge you… or die trying. I swear, they will not go unpunished. This man can rule all he wants, I don't care. I don't care about anything. I have _nothing_ to lose… nothing… to lose… not… anymore…

Lost… confused… helpless… pitiful but un-pitied… fire…. snow… screaming… always screaming… voices, whisper my name… running… breathless… searing pains… my voice, screaming, crying… Laughter, yours and mine… confusion… noise, sirens, gunshots… smoke, a world consumed with flame…

I miss you my Angel…

Falling...

If I grabbed the edge, does that mean I still believe…? When Pandora opened her box hope was left inside. Is there hope left for me? Why bother? My life is meaningless, it will become even more so once my purpose is complete… I'm sick of serving. Sick of running, I have no-where to go… I surrender my existence; I will serve one last time. My purpose will then be complete. I don't care what happens after that. I don't care about anything… except revenge….

That's not true… I care about you my Angel. I won't ever stop, never, never, never… I'll care for you forever… I won't ever forget you…

Eternity is a _very_ long time…

_Star light,  
__Star bright,  
__Wish I may,  
__Wish I might…  
__I wish…_

Running, always running, will I be running forever…? I'm so tired… I just want to rest… to be in your arms again… but there's fifty years between us, a lifetime… There's no-one left… I'll run forever and never find you… the eternal suns will burn away and die before I reach you… I'll wander always… haunting the dark places… always looking for what I won't find… Why did you leave me?

_They_ took you away!

Revenge is what drives me. It burns like a fire in the place where my life force _used_ to be. Where you used to be… I miss you so, so much…

I'll make them pay. I swear on my existence, for it is certain I _exist_, I don't live, I just exist. I swear I will get revenge for what they did to us… for what they did to you. I am meaningless. Tears are meaningless… Existence is meaningless without you…

Revenge is what drives me…

Running, always running. That was one thing I was good at… The harsh black tarmac flashes by beneath my flaming feet. I am guided only by a single white line along the centre of my path. My world smells dirty, acrid, oily, so unlike the sterile scentless place of my birth, both, unnatural and so… cold… nevertheless I am going home…

But I know there will be no-one there to welcome me…

_Star light,  
__Star bright,  
__I shall have revenge this night_

The ARK smells of smoke. Why are my dreams so often filled with fire, the memory of scorching heat and screaming? When all I long to dream of is you, the smile on your face, your hazel eyes, you hair, the colour of falling leaves… It's only now I understand what that expression means… I think it was autumn when I saw your world, though it seems whatever the time of year some leaves are falling.

It's a shame. I liked the moon. No-matter, it is not for me to decide the purpose to which this man puts the weapons created by his bloodline… but if he is related to my father… what does that make him to me? Perhaps better not to think about it in those terms. _I_ am disgusted to think that I could be related to this… man…?

He is more of a beast than I am! He certainly smells like one…

I've never been in a forest before either. The smell of earth, and these shafts of emerald light are entrancing. They send shivers up and down my spine; make my fur stand on end with animal pleasure. I had to be dragged away from my observations; my companions seem singularly unimpressed by their delights. I was sickened to find that when a bomb was placed into my hands I was more familiar with that and its nature than the calls of the birds in the trees.

Who is he? I've never seen anything like him before. I suppose he is… Shremu… that's what humans call us isn't it? I think he's a hedgehog… Like me. He's the closest thing to myself I've ever seen. That's why I revealed myself to him in the city, because I was… curious, for all the good it did me! Curiosity is a curse, it is humanity's curse. I will remind them of the horrors released from Pandora's Box.

If he wants to fight I'll give him a fight he won't forget. My most prominent memories are filled with conflict, fighting is wired into my subconscious being. I am not afraid… I'm not afraid…

She's calling me. She has the worst possible timing don't you think? But she gives me an excuse not to kill this pitiful creature. Maybe there is mercy in this demon soul of mine…

_Star flame  
__Future's Bane  
__A heart that's cold and full of-_

Why did I do that? I could have left her to wallow in the mess she'd made. I have no loyalty to these people, I have no loyalty to anyone. So why did I do it? Maybe I do not wish to see anymore death accounted to these stained hands. Maybe I am simply a coward, fearful of the effect of this one's loss upon my own head? Or maybe I am not so heartless after all… I leave that decision up to you.

_I'm running again_… running against an enemy, or if not an enemy, a rival. It saddens me… he's taken the one thing I thought was unique to me away. Why must he steal that? Surely he has much to be happy about, his pure heart, his loyal friends…

His friends… yes, they have added an uncomfortable new dimension to my troubles… I like his friends… one of them seems familiar to me… The way he looks at me… sometimes it makes me wonder if I am familiar to him too. What can that mean? Fifty years I've been locked away. The last time I saw the light of day must have been a generation before his birth. How can we possibly know one another? Maybe I should stay away from him… maybe he recalls in me some fragment of a forgotten dream… not a nightmare, for when I look at him, fear is not what I feel.

_Star light,  
__Hero bright,  
__Save the world from selfish plight…_

I've never had an ally before. Its strange, not to be alone in my despair. Though I wonder, does this blue one really know what despair feels like? I don't think he shares in my misery. This one knows nothing of responsibility, of duty, but maybe he, unlike me knows his purpose, his reason for existing. I envy him, his casual laughter, his careless smile. I envy his unburdened shoulders…

To be like him would be bliss…

Is it possible he could care for me, even though I've tried so hard to be his undoing? No, I'm getting carried away again; I'm trying so hard to see something that isn't there that I can see it in everyone. Like I said, I even see it in the eyes of the Guardian… now that really is wishful thinking! This blue one needs my help, and for once I give it freely, my purpose was to work, I'm past caring who I serve, I'm a willing pawn… I'm just… tired…

One more step, one more stride and I'll go over the edge and into the darkness. _That_ is my purpose, my duty… All by their existence wish to make the world a better place, I do that by removing myself.

Maybe revenge is _not_ what drives me…

_Star light,  
__Star bright,  
__I shall Fall from grace this night… _

The Earth is so beautiful from this angle. There are no dividing lines between the countries like on all the maps. The Earth is a blue jewel beneath me. From here there are no divisions, no hatred, no weapons… well maybe, just, one…

_Star light,  
__Burns Bright  
__Wish I may,  
__Wish I might,  
__I wish you all a happy life… _


End file.
